The grounding box offers an easily accessible set of objects that you and your child can turn to together to support regulation. Use it when you notice your child is not fully present, or when you see early warning signs of them becoming angry. Picking an object at random from the box and using it in a distracted way will not be a magic wand bringing on a state of calm. Attention on what you are doing together is the key. Focus is a requirement for a successful grounding box intervention.
Doing the activity together with your child will support you to match your child’s emotional state. Match your child’s energy as you lead them to the box, and they will begin to calm as they tune in to your energy whilst discovering and exploring objects in the box. Use your tone of voice and actions to guide them. Helping bring their attention onto choosing an object gently moves them away from hurtful intrusive thoughts and overwhelming emotions. The aim is to bring them into the here and now; in that moment they are with you, they are safe, they are calm, they have overcome what was going on before. The doing together is important as they begin to mirror you and settle down. Passing from one to the other and turn taking also create a rhythm that supports slowing down. The experience of togetherness will also support and strengthen your relationship.
Focussing on the breath goes hand in hand with grounding. As your child settles into a rhythm with you, you can use this to slow down the breath further. You can also verbalise that you’re breathing into your belly, and breathing out, matching this to a slow rhythm you’ve created together, or initiating one. For example, one of you can breathe out whilst blowing bubbles whilst the other breathes in, and then you swap. Or you could roll a ball to them whilst you breathe out and they breathe in, and then swap.
When your child is in a calm state, you can simply acknowledge them saying you’d noticed they were really struggling, validate them saying you were aware that they had something really difficult going on inside, and repair saying they’ve done amazingly well at calming down and managing their big emotions and thoughts. If appropriate you can check whether there’s anything they’d like to share with you, or whether they’d like time with you later to think about it.
We hope you find this useful. Please share your experiences with us - thank you! In our next ‘stuff and info’ we’ll look a little more at breathing.
Comments